You may say I am dreamer ...

Life is complicated yet very simple. Keep in mind your reminiscent past, work on the stagnant present and a glorious future definitely awaits you. We all have a destined path to follow - a path of realization and correction, self awakening and respect, a path where you learn to love and admire others in the simplest possible ways. 

I have never been as inspired by a book as by The Autobiography of a Yogi! All along growing up, I never paid attention to things that happened on their own without much deliberation from my side. Reading this book has helped me to look at my past perspectively, review my present critically and not think too much about the future. There is only as much control one can gain over one's future! 

I really like one of the anecdotes in the book where Yogananda ji talks about his college education. For the mere love for his guru he completed his degree even though he had no interest in pursuing the bookish knowledge. Later in his life he ended up in U.S. and realized that had it not been for Yukteshwar ji's constant encouragement to pursue a college degree, he would have never been able to spread the knowledge of ancient Indian yoga in the west. It was his love for his beloved Guruji that made him do things that did not interest him but they all happened for a reason! So treasure your past and make the best out of your present and do not worry about your future.  Everything happens for a reason! 

Peace! 

Z - grade ...

I wish all those people who claim to be A - grade citizens can look into a mirror to see how their thought processes actually get reflected. Hope some day a mirror with such capacities would be invented ;). Such a sad state when you think you are best person on earth and others are plain z-grade citizens. Assuming some one is inferior to you based on your judgements depict the state of your intellect and depth of your mind. 

There should be some kind of yard stick to measure quality of people's intellect and thoughts. Almost anyone can pretend to be mature and refined but what lies beneath only shows over time.  As they say we are here to bear what we sow, I guess nature has its own way of getting back and showing you the right way! 

Peace! 

Strange connections!

Was quite an eventful day today. Met my adviser after two months and also got to know my grand adviser (adviser's adviser). Ate horrible Indian food and also got to savor the best Mexican food I have had till now. Last but not the least, met a random cab driver and felt like I knew him since ages. Strange eh?

Meeting people you are fond of is always delightful. I felt a sudden comfort after seeing my adviser today. I was smiling, talking and being the normal "expressive" me. We chatted for long over my research, my life, Indian traditions, Indian parents, Indian men and most importantly on how I should improve myself. Its funny how well my adviser knows me. He is not the only one who has asked me to shed the "always being humble" tag and be a bit ferocious/nasty :-).  Me being be I don't think I can ever be nasty to people! But yes I have to try to be a bit more stern! 

Meeting random people can also be delightful. I took a cab to have dinner with my adviser and grand adviser. The cab driver was an old chap from Egypt. My ride lasted for almost 15 minutes but it felt like an hour. We talked about various connections between Egypt and India. He told me that Indian movies are really popular in Egypt and that they especially adore Amitabh Bachchan. They love watching different emotions in just one movie - love, actions, fights, songs and family drama (I did not tell him on how much I hated watching some of these non-sensical and senseless B'wood movies). He spoke about the Egyptian revolution, his family, his acquired way of life in America, his Indian friends, driving in west versus driving in middle east and so on. Whatever was left unspoken was covered when he dropped me back home. When I reached home these were his words ... "even though I am seeing you for the first time, it seems like we have been friends for long, you are a good person." Whatever happened to my plan of being stern/serious and not so humble! :)

Life is indeed full of surprises. As nicely put in one of my favorite movies - life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which ones you get. 

Peace out!

For A and A ...

Its incredible how connected I feel to you. These couple of months have brought us closer and I feel I am lucky to have known you! Coming back to "our" lives ... I think we have been saved from a disastrous future (DISASTROUS ... no kidding). I don't complain any longer ... as I can see with eyes broad open why somethings did not work out. Have been reading profusely lately and have realized the best way to handle certain things in life is to leave it to the eternal power. With time we would have all our answers and we would know of the "bigger" plan which was engendered for us. Forget (and forgive) everything and move on and remember there is deliberation on someone's part to get you where you are today! 

Strange how different people have similar stories and once you know you are not the only one, it helps to sooth your tempestuous mind. Anyways, just have to tell you that I cherish our bond and I truly believe that we wil get there someday! :)

Love and Peace! 

Maa ...

In the past couple of months, I have come to realize that there is no bigger love than that of a mother for her child. A bond without expectations and commitments - it comes naturally and instinctively. As a mother, someone who bore you for nine months, she knows you in and out. Your happiness makes her glow and if you are sad, she will be sleepless for nights! Even though I have lost my belief in relationships in general but my bond with my mother has only gone stronger. When people told me I was uncouth, my mother told me I was the best daughter one could ever get. When I was referred as someone who expects a lot, she mirrored my capacity to love unwillingly and effortlessly. When I lost my belief, she prayed for me instead! Her faith in me has helped me to regain my lost self .... and I will be indebted to her for life for bringing me into this world and for being a mentor, friend and for being the best mother in this world :) ... love you Maa!

Start and end ...

Its strange how life moves through phases. Right from being born as a bundle of happiness, to getting old and then to the eternal end - each phase is marked by different sets of experiences, learnings, and memories (good or bad).

I am entering into an age group that is faced with one of the most painful processes of existence. Its nothing but a metamorphosis - get rid of the weak and make way for the young. Last to last month, my family lost one of our very dear uncles. Today we lost my eldest uncle - someone I and my brother were extremely fond of. On our regular trips to Jammu as kids, we would look forward to seeing him. Its a sad feeling - they are the same set of people who inspired me and motivated me in different ways while I was growing up. And now they are meeting the ends and are being liberated from this world ... from the endless suffering, expectations and emotions. 

These incidents make my belief stronger that there is nothing that one can control. We are like puppets performing the given roles. There is only as much you can do - rest is almost planned for you. 

Rest in peace Baetoth. We will miss you! 

Third in a row!!

Let me start with a quote .. "akal thokar khaane se aati hai, badaam khaane se nahi." I read this on one my friend's facebook wall and stole it right then. Makes so much sense. You don't learn unless you fall. But remember for the light to shine bright, darkness is required! So here is to hope, to light, to life, to a new place, to new relationships! 

Wondering why everything is "new." I recently moved to Arizona, and this is my third move in US (believe it or not third move in three years). In a conversation with one of my friends, I said it sounds pretty sad to move around so much but I have only learnt things by being at different places and meeting new people. Said this, life would definitely be easier without such moves ... but I don't regret them. They bring in the required change ..  help to forget the past and move into the future with less doubts and regrets; and  more adventure. For now I do miss B'burg, it was my second home. That place holds so much warmth even with -10 degree celsius! Lets see if the warm weather here can compete against the warmth of my second home in US. 

Love, peace ... and loads of happiness! 

Regain conscience!

Time again for a new years celebration! As is often said - new year brings new things/surprises. Old habits die making the way for new ones ... old friends get replaced by new ones ... new dates for festivals (if you follow any other calender) ... new clothes, interests, books, job dynamics ... But methinks these changes happen on daily basis, so why give so much importance to the first day of the year? May be celebrate every passing day ... thank god every night for giving you opportunities that a number of people do not get, for giving you a comfortable life ... for giving you wonderful people around! But I guess its just human psychology ... start a new thing with a blast and then forget about it till its over :) ... 

Regardless .. a very happy new year to all!!

Blah bla bla ...

I was talking to a very close friend of mine and she told me "yeh jo bhagwaan bhagwaan karte hai sabse bure hote hai" and I can not agree more. The spiritual ones don't really talk about spirituality or at-least are not pretentious. I think even before you attain that level the least one can expect is to be good and human to your surroundings. I could care least about your capability of projecting in to 100  different dimensions (spatially and time-wise) but giving people their due counts more. A divine connection shows you the way and the light but the same connection does not help you to let go of your ego for people around you.

Half Orange

One of my very good friends gave me book recently - the book is on finding your perfect half orange. I must admit when I read its title and the cover-page, I was shocked. I told myself that I can not read this. Told my friend that she had to be kidding me for offering such a book. But surprisingly, I am enjoying my read. Its an easy read, fills you with optimism and helps you to realize that if you have been too selective or expecting a lot - its ok to do so. 

Do not punish yourself for what others think of you. If you are comfortable with how you have been, stop worrying! Do not judge yourself by measuring rods provided by others - no one (i mean it absolutely no one) can be in your shoes and in your circumstances to tell you what exactly would have been the right strategy. Every human being is different, every relationship is different, circumstances, situations, people's reactions - nothing can be generalized. You may draw connections but that is not sufficient. So let things pass, settle down and then contemplate whether you were right or wrong - do not let others decide it for you!