For A and A ...

Its incredible how connected I feel to you. These couple of months have brought us closer and I feel I am lucky to have known you! Coming back to "our" lives ... I think we have been saved from a disastrous future (DISASTROUS ... no kidding). I don't complain any longer ... as I can see with eyes broad open why somethings did not work out. Have been reading profusely lately and have realized the best way to handle certain things in life is to leave it to the eternal power. With time we would have all our answers and we would know of the "bigger" plan which was engendered for us. Forget (and forgive) everything and move on and remember there is deliberation on someone's part to get you where you are today! 

Strange how different people have similar stories and once you know you are not the only one, it helps to sooth your tempestuous mind. Anyways, just have to tell you that I cherish our bond and I truly believe that we wil get there someday! :)

Love and Peace! 

Maa ...

In the past couple of months, I have come to realize that there is no bigger love than that of a mother for her child. A bond without expectations and commitments - it comes naturally and instinctively. As a mother, someone who bore you for nine months, she knows you in and out. Your happiness makes her glow and if you are sad, she will be sleepless for nights! Even though I have lost my belief in relationships in general but my bond with my mother has only gone stronger. When people told me I was uncouth, my mother told me I was the best daughter one could ever get. When I was referred as someone who expects a lot, she mirrored my capacity to love unwillingly and effortlessly. When I lost my belief, she prayed for me instead! Her faith in me has helped me to regain my lost self .... and I will be indebted to her for life for bringing me into this world and for being a mentor, friend and for being the best mother in this world :) ... love you Maa!

Start and end ...

Its strange how life moves through phases. Right from being born as a bundle of happiness, to getting old and then to the eternal end - each phase is marked by different sets of experiences, learnings, and memories (good or bad).

I am entering into an age group that is faced with one of the most painful processes of existence. Its nothing but a metamorphosis - get rid of the weak and make way for the young. Last to last month, my family lost one of our very dear uncles. Today we lost my eldest uncle - someone I and my brother were extremely fond of. On our regular trips to Jammu as kids, we would look forward to seeing him. Its a sad feeling - they are the same set of people who inspired me and motivated me in different ways while I was growing up. And now they are meeting the ends and are being liberated from this world ... from the endless suffering, expectations and emotions. 

These incidents make my belief stronger that there is nothing that one can control. We are like puppets performing the given roles. There is only as much you can do - rest is almost planned for you. 

Rest in peace Baetoth. We will miss you! 

Third in a row!!

Let me start with a quote .. "akal thokar khaane se aati hai, badaam khaane se nahi." I read this on one my friend's facebook wall and stole it right then. Makes so much sense. You don't learn unless you fall. But remember for the light to shine bright, darkness is required! So here is to hope, to light, to life, to a new place, to new relationships! 

Wondering why everything is "new." I recently moved to Arizona, and this is my third move in US (believe it or not third move in three years). In a conversation with one of my friends, I said it sounds pretty sad to move around so much but I have only learnt things by being at different places and meeting new people. Said this, life would definitely be easier without such moves ... but I don't regret them. They bring in the required change ..  help to forget the past and move into the future with less doubts and regrets; and  more adventure. For now I do miss B'burg, it was my second home. That place holds so much warmth even with -10 degree celsius! Lets see if the warm weather here can compete against the warmth of my second home in US. 

Love, peace ... and loads of happiness! 

Regain conscience!

Time again for a new years celebration! As is often said - new year brings new things/surprises. Old habits die making the way for new ones ... old friends get replaced by new ones ... new dates for festivals (if you follow any other calender) ... new clothes, interests, books, job dynamics ... But methinks these changes happen on daily basis, so why give so much importance to the first day of the year? May be celebrate every passing day ... thank god every night for giving you opportunities that a number of people do not get, for giving you a comfortable life ... for giving you wonderful people around! But I guess its just human psychology ... start a new thing with a blast and then forget about it till its over :) ... 

Regardless .. a very happy new year to all!!

Blah bla bla ...

I was talking to a very close friend of mine and she told me "yeh jo bhagwaan bhagwaan karte hai sabse bure hote hai" and I can not agree more. The spiritual ones don't really talk about spirituality or at-least are not pretentious. I think even before you attain that level the least one can expect is to be good and human to your surroundings. I could care least about your capability of projecting in to 100  different dimensions (spatially and time-wise) but giving people their due counts more. A divine connection shows you the way and the light but the same connection does not help you to let go of your ego for people around you.

Half Orange

One of my very good friends gave me book recently - the book is on finding your perfect half orange. I must admit when I read its title and the cover-page, I was shocked. I told myself that I can not read this. Told my friend that she had to be kidding me for offering such a book. But surprisingly, I am enjoying my read. Its an easy read, fills you with optimism and helps you to realize that if you have been too selective or expecting a lot - its ok to do so. 

Do not punish yourself for what others think of you. If you are comfortable with how you have been, stop worrying! Do not judge yourself by measuring rods provided by others - no one (i mean it absolutely no one) can be in your shoes and in your circumstances to tell you what exactly would have been the right strategy. Every human being is different, every relationship is different, circumstances, situations, people's reactions - nothing can be generalized. You may draw connections but that is not sufficient. So let things pass, settle down and then contemplate whether you were right or wrong - do not let others decide it for you! 

Liberation ...

Someone rightly said that an end is always liberating.

I wonder why some people are so scared of dying and then there are others who willingly part away. I feel death is liberating - it puts an end to happiness, miseries, sorrows, relationships, expectations. So why be scared of it? I also understand why people take extreme steps of putting themselves through crap sometimes and leaving their loved ones behind. For them the only way to deal with negatives is to put a full stop. Some people may say that is a clear sign of being a loser or not being courageous. But situations and circumstances make people do that. And these circumstances may be beyond ones control.

Having said this, I still feel life is to be lived and treasured. Face the end with dignity and courage but don't ever be scared of the end for it is what liberates you in the truest sense of word!

And a new begining!

I plan on being more frequent with my blog posts and for a start here is the latest update on the current events.

Life has changed after moving to Blacksburg. I have fallen in love with this place - it reminds me of the valley of Kashmir. In fact its better than most of the valleys I have seen till now. This place feels like home. I do miss my family and friends but not so much the place. Virginia is home for now and I absolutely adore it.

Time flies! Passing out of school seems like yesterday. It was in 2002 that I completed my high school and the past nine years have flown like nine months. Never did I imagine or even dream of getting in to the field of economics and more so doing research on it. And here I am today -- trying to build a future out of it. I am enjoying this journey and the fellow travelers have only made it easier. Cultivated some new hobbies and got rid of old ones -- but I guess thats how everybody rolls ... Adios!

Moving Time !!

After coming here last august, I was counting on the months that I will have to spend on finishing off my PhD but now looks like I will have to re-start the process. I am transferring out to VTech and will be moving to the beautiful town of Blacksburg, which is at the center of Appalachian Mountains. It will be a new road with new set of travelers heading to same or different destinations .. hopefully I will enjoy my ride as much as the fellow travelers would!!

Time really flies. I realized I almost stopped blogging after I came to US, probably because I kept a lot busier with my course work. I hope to write more in the future, blogging is a good way to express yourself at times!!