Qualifying results to be out in a few hours. How do I feel??
Very anxious but I am trying to tell myself that if it doesn’t go according to my wishes and fancies, I will have to be strong and retake the exam again. Ha!! I must have been accustomed to taking exams by now... So what is the fear? Hasn’t life put me through many exams? Then why am I scared of this one? I guess you always go through these palpitations’ just before the exams and results. I find it weird sometimes, having given so many of them and having heard the results 100 times, I still get nervous before every exam that I sit for and before all the result that I hear of. Yet!! I try and tell myself... This is not the end of the road... I need to cross many boundaries to be where I want to be !!
It’s like uncertainty aversion :D. Ha!! Proves that I am averse to uncertainty (there goes the economists in me). So I guess I am reacting normally. I cannot concentrate on the work that was assigned to me by my adviser (jitters). What should I do to keep myself busy and not think about the result? Huh here I go and start writing the blog entry for today. Wow it has almost been a year since I last wrote one. My school keeps me a lot busier than I ever thought. But it’s good in a way. I don’t miss home that much, otherwise life could get tough here. But I am excited that I am going back home for about 4 weeks, soon. This is the first time ever I am staying away from my family for so long. But I must admit it has been a learning experience till now. Managing everything on your own in a foreign country with not many friends around is a task in itself. Though I believe that because of one of my best friend in US and friends back home, the stay here has been peaceful and exciting.
What else (my favorite quote :P) .. these random thoughts sometimes make no sense at all, often retrospecting, you realize how things change and overtime you grow out of certain notions and attain new ones. That keeps us going !!
Once I get my results I will get back to this blog entry and see if it makes me feel any better. If it does, I will post it on my blog. If it doesn’t I will keep it. May be it will be of help some other time.
